If It Wasn't My Fault, Then Who Was It?
by Fantasy-Dreamer1234
Summary: I was too busy to notice the two boys. The two little boys running down the street with the gun they had stolen from their dad. The little boys who pointed their gun at the 'robber' and pulled the trigger. One-Shot! Please Read :  You get a cookie.


Ok, So this came to me while watching a movie. It's about Eli and his -now-dead Ex-girlfriend. But I wrote her death more...interesting. So please Read and Review! I will love you forever!

Oh Almost forgot! I own myself; Not Degrassi. Sadly.

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It wasn't my fault…was it? That's what they all say to me. My parents, my therapist, my friends. But it was. It will always be.

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~Flashback~

We were sitting at the park, eating ice cream. It was any ordinary day. Until those four words slipped out my mouth.

" I love you Julia." I said to her. I thought it was the right moment. Alone at the park, under the stores, spontaneously saying 'I love You'. I thought girls killed for that type of crap. Not Julia. She just stared at me, wide-eyed, and said nothing. I counted the seconds as I wanted for her to say the words back.

104 (1) seconds later. Still nothing. Instead she got up and turned to leave. I grabbed her arm.

"Julia, you didn't say it back. Why?" She wasn't leaving until I got an answer. She tried to snatch away.

"Eli let me go. Now." Her voice was full of sadness.

"Answer me!" I demanded. Who did she think she was to just leave when I just told her my feelings?

"Look, Eli , you're awesome, and I really like you, but I don't _love _you." The words seemed to slap me in the face. Her voice were bitter now. I could have swore this chick was bipolar. It took me a while to reply.

"You…don't love me?" I said, my voice shaking with anger. She slowly shook her head. Again, she turned to leave. But this time I grabbed her both her wrist and dragged her body to me.

"Ow! Eli stop it! You're hurting me!" She said, her voice getting slightly loud. Her head was a few inches for mine and her body was so close I could feel her heart beating. "Let me go! If you don't, I'll scream!" She's yelling, her voice filled with fear.

" What did I do wrong?" I whispered. She stopped struggling for a minute to listen to me.

" I did everything; Everything to make you happy. I supported you when you made dumb mistakes, like dying your hair purple. I called you beautiful when you felt ugly. I made you laugh when you were sad. I held you whiled you cried. I even gave you your first kiss." I hissed. "And you can't even bother to love me?" Julia was crying by this point.

_No. _I thought to myself. _She isn't getting off this easy. At least not again._

"I'm sorry Eli."

That's it? An 'I'm Sorry'? This is what I get for pouring my heart into this girl? I growl as my hands slowly tighten against her wrists. She gasped and moaned in pain. My nails dig into her skin and it starts to bleed.

"Eli, Please! STOP!" Her almost drops down to her knees in agony.

"Say it. Say you love me." I whisper in her ear.

"But…I…don't!" She says between breaths.

"SAY IT!" I screamed at her. My hands feel as if they're snapping her wrists in half. I didn't know own strength.

I was to busy to notice the two boys. The two little boys running down the street with the gun they had stolen from their father. The Two boys who thought it was just another toy. The two boys who were playing cops. The little boy who pointed the gun at the 'robber' across the street and pulled the trigger.

It wasn't until she stopped screaming and looked at me that I noticed something was wrong.

"Julia?" I called her name but she doesn't answer. She just gasped as tears rolled down her face. She started sliding to the ground. One of my hands made its way to her back and was filled with blood. I yelled in horror. Two little boys across the street were staring in shock with a gun in their hands. Tears rolled down my face as reality snuck in.

My beautiful Julia had been shot in the back. And now she was dieing in my arms. Her eyes began to shut. With her final breath, she whispered "Why didn't you let go?"

How does this happen to me? How does this happen to the little emo boy who lives in that weird house down the street? The Emo boy who fell for a preppy little cheerleader named Julia Ann.

I felt myself cry harder as I realized this was all my fault. _If I had never brought her here. If I had never said those stupid four words. If I had let go of her when she said 'Let me go.' She would be here. Alive._

Minutes went by before I realized the boys had went for help. An ambulance made its way over. Everything went by so fast, I barely had time to breathe. People were asking questions and I didn't want to answer. I just wanted Julia. I watched as doctors tried to revive her heart that had stopped minutes before. I started to walk home besides some of the people's protest. All I could think of were her last words.

_**Why didn't you let go?**_

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Now Here I was, a year later, with another girl. Clare Edwards. We weren't at a park, but a similar scenery. I convinced her to cut class with me. We joked as we talked about her failed writing assignment. We talked about how her parent's marriage was failing. Our day hit it's climax when our conversation took a turn.

"You care to much about what people think." I told her.

"That's not true!" She shrieked.

"Then the top of your lungs." After a failed attempt, she got up and screamed. The whole block stared at us and moved away. She looked satisfied and turned towards me.

"Now It's you're turn." She says with a sly smile.

"Not my style." I said with a smirk. She gasped playfully and laughed. Somehow we ended up by a pole,with her wrist in my hands and her pretty head and wonderful body a few inches away from me. I had sudden Deja Vu.

That's when the flash back came. Julia,her tiny wrist in my hands,screaming to be let go.

The way I was holding Clare Edwards was the way I was holding Julia the night she died. My hands slowly let go of Clare's wrist,even though they secretly don't want to. She looked shocked and confused at our actions,and she went and sat back down.

Elijah Goldsworthy,will you ever learn?

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Bleh, I don't like this. It sounded a lot better in my head. Review Please? Just another One-Shot.

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